The Devil is in the Details
by TheDeathlyMarshmallows
Summary: Modern AU: Uther is the head of the giant Pendragon Limited business with Arthur set to inherit it. Morgana, the illegitimate child set to inherit nothing, decides it's time to forge a new will for Uther and organize his untimely death. Enter the mercenary for hire - Morgause, who would be great at her job if she wasn't so obsessed with making every plot as dramatic as possible.
1. Mercenary for Hire

_Authors Notes: Whoops I already have two unfinished fics and yet here I am making another. HhHAHaHEHehEHeoHOohOHo whY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF. **  
**_

_Anyway - this is 'The Devil is in the Details' where we will journey to AU modern Camelot and follow the escapades of Morgana and Morgause and possibly others they might rope in as they try to provide Uther with a very untimely death and forge a new will. Nearly all characters will make an appearance as the story continues. ENJOY.  
_

_(Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Merlin blAH BLAH YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW)  
_

* * *

**The Devil is in the Details**

* * *

One

Mercenary for Hire

* * *

Morgana was doing her best to ignore any and _all_ news associated with Pendragon Limited, but it was proving rather difficult to do when a colossal poster advertising its services was pasted onto the billboard opposite her apartment's living space window.

**NEW PHONE. NEW APPS. NEW YOU. BRING OUT THE DRAGON WITHIN. PENDRAGON LIMITED.**

_Bring out the dragon within._ What the hell did that even have to _do_ with bloody mobile phones? _Christ,_ and it would be _this_ poster that had her father's odious grinning face occupying at _least_ three quarters of it. Morgana let out a groan of distaste as she stood before the window, cradling a mug of coffee in her slender hands as she glared intently at the new abomination tainting her view of the city.

Damn Uther, damn Arthur, damn mobiles, _damn everything Pendragon_-

_**Bzzt!**_

_And damn social callers!_ With another very unfeminine grunt of disapproval, Morgana set her mug down on a side table and made her way over to the buzzer.

"What do you want?"

"Why I'm very well Morgana and completely recovered from my night in a jail cell, thank you for asking."

"Nimueh is that you?"

"Who else would have been in jail? Honestly Morgana, I worry about your brainpower sometimes-"

"Well what the hell were you doing-"

"You know as delightful as this conversation _is_ through the static of the call box, would it tax you _too_ greatly to invite your best friend and confident up into your apartment?"

"Who said you were my best friend?"

"Morgana, you _wound_ me."

The raven haired woman rolled her eyes and pressed the buzzer, then took a step to the side to yank the door to her apartment open. After a moment or two there was the faint sound of someone dropping something down the stairs, followed by a string of curses that could only be associated with _Nimueh's_ colourful vocabulary, before the brunette herself finally hurried into view with a folder clutched firmly to her chest. She flashed Morgana a pretty smile as she breezed past her and into the apartment. "You're looking _beautiful_ today."

"No I'm not, I've only just woken up."

"And the groggy, unshowered look suits you _so_ _well_." Nimueh replied smoothly as she moved into the living space and settled herself down onto one of the white leather sofas. "I couldn't help but notice the old billboard is trying a new look too."

"Oh, _that_." Morgana scowled, grabbing her coffee again and slouching to the sofa opposite. "We're not talking about _that_. I'm going to brick up the window."

"That would be a shame, it's very beautiful."

"I do hope you're referring to the window and not that disgusting stoat of a man."

"You mean your father?"

"That's what I said." Morgana shifted about on the sofa, apparently unable to get _quite_ comfortable in her irritable mood. She gave a huff of annoyance and glanced to the other woman, just in time to see Nimueh's lips curl into an amused smile. "You can stop that straight away."

"Stop smiling?"

"Yes. If I'm going to be unhappy then you're going to be unhappy."

"Ah."

A small pause. Morgana took a sip of her coffee and then looked pointedly at Nimueh. Nimueh gazed indifferently back. The clock mounted on the wall opposite the window ticked loudly.

"Nimueh."

"Morgana."

"...the jail cell-?"

"Oh!" Nimueh, looking for all the world as if she'd forgotten such an occurrence had happened, clapped her hands down on the folder in her lap and gave another grin. "It wasn't a big deal. I got caught speeding and I was...a _little_ rude to the policeman I suppose, so they kept me in a cell overnight."

"...And that was it?"

"Yes."

Morgana raised a brow. Nimueh's grin widened. "I'm gaining the impression you think I'm hiding something from you."

"That's because you nearly always do."

"A woman must keep an air of mystery about her, Morgana. You should know that."

"Well you don't _look_ like you've spent a night in a jail cell."

"Perhaps I haven't then."

Morgana leant her head against the back of the sofa and emitted what must have been the hundredth sound of frustration that morning, to which Nimueh gave one of her delightfully wicked laughs before turning her attention to the folder in her lap. "I do, however, have something that might brighten your day irreversibly."

Morgana raised her head hopefully. "That red floppy hooded coat of yours?"

"No. That will always be mine. But this is a good second best."

"I confess myself interested."

"I confess myself flattered." Nimueh propped herself forward, almost to the edge of the sofa, as she began flicking through the folder. "It regards that, oh, how shall I say it..._delicate_ matter of yours."

If Morgana had not been paying much attention beforehand, she certainly was now. "You mean..."

Nimueh glanced up and gave her another quick smile. "Yes."

"You've actually found...someone...?"

"Did you ever doubt me?"

"Of course not. You're the woman who gave me a C-4 charge for my birthday."

The brunette came to a halt on a page that, from Morgana's view, didn't seem to have an awful lot of information on it. "Oh yes, have you used that thing yet?"

"Has there been a news story about anything blowing up recently?"

"No."

"Then no, no I haven't."

"This is disappointing but understandable." Nimueh set the open folder down onto the coffee table and pushed it towards the other woman before relaxing back into the sofa again. "There _she_ is at any rate."

Morgana slowly put her coffee down next to the folder and leant forwards, turning the folder her way. Green eyes scanned the page. At the top was a fairly unfocused photograph of what appeared to be an exceptionally angry blonde woman who was poised to strike whoever had had the misfortune of holding the camera at the time. Underneath, she read:

'Name: Morgause

Age: Undisclosed

Height: Undisclosed

Weight: Undisclosed

Hometown: Undisclosed

Skills: Undisclosed

Preferred weaponry: Undisclosed

Preferred mode of transportation: Undisclosed

Other: Undisclosed'

Morgana dragged her gaze back up to Nimueh's. She noted that the brunette was looking _far_ too pleased with herself for someone who had just presented her with the most _useless pile of crap ever_. "I can't say this is filling me with hope, Nimueh."

"Oh?"

"On account of the fact there is _no information here_."

Nimueh waved a hand dismissively. "Of course there is. Her name is Morgause and she's blonde and angry. What more do you need?"

Morgana's eyes narrowed. "_Literally everything_."

"I can't help but feel you're being a bit too picky, Morgana."

"Nimueh, the person I hire is going to help me _murder my own father and forge a new will_. I need to know _everything_ there is to know about them."

The blue-eyed woman grinned. "On the contrary Morgana, you need to know as little about them as possible."

* * *

**Nimueh:** SHE'LL BE WITH YOU AT MIDNIGHT

**Morgana:** Isn't that a bit late?

**Nimueh:** SHE SAID IT WOULD BE MORE DRAMATIC

**Morgana:** But I have to get up early tomorrow. Helping organize a fashion shoot

**Nimueh:** YOU'RE IN THE PRIME OF YOUR LIFE. STOP BEING SUCH AN OLD WOMAN

**Morgana:** Fine. Midnight it is

**Morgana:** ...Why are you texting in caps?

**Nimueh: **NEW PHONE. IT'S GOT STUCK. PIECE OF CRAP

**Morgana:** New phone?

**Nimueh:** YES

**Morgana:** It's not a Pendragon by any chance?

**Morgana:** Nimueh

**Morgana:** Nimueh answer me

**Nimueh:** GOTTA GO

**Morgana:** NIMUEH

**Nimueh: **LOVE YOU

**Morgana:** TRAITOR

* * *

Midnight came and went and so did Morgana's hopes of meeting the blonde haired woman. She didn't quite know how she felt on the matter. She'd been stood up by a criminal. Should she be happy that she didn't attract such people or hurt that she wasn't considered worthy of their attention?

_God_, it was all very confusing and she'd even run out of coffee so her early start would most likely look something akin to a scene in _The Grudge_.

Morgana scowled to herself, made a mental note to slap Nimueh the next time she saw her, then shrugged off her clothes, pulled on a baggy t-shirt and toppled into bed.

* * *

_Cruuunch-crunch-crunch-crunch_

Morgana mumbled something incomprehensible, muffled by the pillow her head was currently buried in.

_Crunch-crunch-cruuuuunch-crunch-crunch_

Green eyes blinked open, unfocused and bleary.

_Crunch-cruuuuunch-crunch-crunch-crunch_

Morgana turned her head. Her gaze landed on a blonde figure lounging on the bed beside her. The figure took a bite from an apple and began to chew.

_Cruuuuuunchhh-crunch-crunch_

Morgana froze. Morgana watched as the figure turned the page of a book they were reading, let out an unimpressed '_hm_' and then bit into the apple again.

_Cruuuunch-crunch-crunch-crunch_

Maybe if she moved slowly, the intruder wouldn't notice her and attack. Morgana cautiously started to shuffle back towards the edge of the bed. She just had to get to her cupboard, find that C-4, quickly set it and _throw it in the intruder's direction-_

"Good morning."

Morgana stifled a scream and promptly crashed out of the bed, dragging most of the bed sheets with her on her way down. Apparently unsatisfied with such an undignified display already, the raven haired woman then thrashed about blindly and frantically until she had managed to untangle herself from the sheets, and then she simply lay panting on the wooden floor, trying to gather her bearings.

Absolute silence.

A few seconds drifted by.

A blonde head slowly peered over the edge of the bed and dark brown eyes met green.

The blonde tilted her head slightly and said, in the most polite and refined of ways "You do not appear to be wearing anything on your lower half."

A moment for the news to sink in.

A moment for a red flush to overtake Morgana's cheeks as she let out the second shriek of the day and scrambled with the bed sheets to cover herself. _Fuck, fuck, fuck-_

"You seem to be a little flustered." The blonde noted calmly as she leisurely rose from the bed and stepped over the writhing woman beneath her. "I shall leave you to dress yourself and perhaps compose some dignity."

"I-wha-but-" Morgana paused with bed sheets in hand, watching as the blonde came to a brief halt in the bedroom doorway. "Who-"

The blonde glanced over her shoulder, her expression of the utmost indifference. "Morgause." She replied, setting off into the living space again. "The mercenary for hire."

* * *

_Authors Notes: it iS DONE. AAAHHH. Pls love me and the story and send me reviews because when I read them I will literally stroke the screen and whisper your penname as a dramatic violin solo plays in the background and a single tear falls down my cheek._

_OK?  
_

_OK  
_

_STAY SEXY  
_

_TheDeathlyMarshmallows  
_

_x  
_


	2. Squatting

_Authors Notes: I'M SO SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG TO UPDATE. Excuses? I have none. Cute puppy dog eyes? I can attempt. Forgiveness? I can hope for (and you should give because I'm majestic and it's almost Christmas). Essentially I just got caught up in life at university and writing more of this came second in preference. I HOPE YOU CAN STILL LOVE ME EVEN THOUGH MY UPDATES ARE UNPREDICTABLE._

_ANYWAY - the reviews were all luscious and spurred me on to actually get my butt in gear and finish this chapter off. SO THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MORAL SUPPORT, YOU BROUGHT THIS CHAPTER UPON YOURSELVES. Or something. That sounded a bit ominous idk. I'M TIRED LET ME BE._

_I hope you enjoy it lots and lots at any rate! Gobble the words up. GOBBLE, I SAY._

_bubblepunk12 - Awwh, thank you! I hope this chapter is just as promising as the last! :D_

_mysilentwitness - NO I APPLAUD YOU. SO THERE. Hehee, I'm glad you like the texting because...there's quite a bit more of it in this one...aAAAHHHH LOVE ME_

_ShamelessOCcentricity - I'm afraid I did whisper your pen name. There's nothing you can do about it hehEHEHEE. And yes, Morgause has always been rather keen on drama...so we'll see how that pans out in the next few chapters... :P_

_NeonTiger5 - oh goODNESS. I don't know! Sorcery maybe? Aaahh! I'm glad you like Nimueh and Morgana being BFFs! I didn't know how people would take it so it's good to know people like it :D_

_Dbananad - MY OH MY. You flatter me! I'm goNNA GET EMOTIONAL_

_OJSuban - Thank you! And as you can see I didn't end it there...this is going to be a glorious long chaptered fic by the time I'm done with it! MWahhahaha!_

_kristygirl4u - I AM, I AM. Forgive me, plEAASSEE. I'm so happy you enjoyed it so much! And GOD YES, Morgana, Morgause and Nimueh are all amazing! I completely adore their characters! And Gwen's actually...ALL THE WOMEN! ALL OF THEM_

_mischief-manager00 - GOODNESS ME thank you! haha, yes I've always had the mental image of Nimueh being a very sketchy character if she were ever thrown into a modern setting...definite law breaker, me thinks :P_

_livingarandomreality - aaAAHHHH yes! First grapes and now apples! wheN WILL IT END?! (never!) I hope you're jumping on your bed in joy at the update! YOU SAID YOU WOULD! hehehee_

* * *

**The Devil is in the Details**

* * *

Two

Squatting

* * *

**Morgana: **YOUR MERCENARY HAS BROKEN INTO MY FLAT

**Morgana:** AND SHE'S ALREADY INADVERTENTLY SEEN MY VAGINA

**Morgana:** I WANT A REFUND AND I WANT HER GONE

**Morgana:** NIMUEH GODDAMN IT LOOK AT YOUR CRAPPY PHONE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

**Nimueh:** Don't talk to me about emergencies. Read my horoscope and green is my colour for the week. I haven't a SINGLE green item of clothing in my wardrobe

**Morgana:** ...is this actually happening?

**Nimueh:** My aura is going to be all off skew :(

**Morgana:** It isn't even going to EXIST if you don't get rid of this mercenary

**Morgana:** I'll hunt you down. Bludgeon you to death with your own phone

**Nimueh:** Impossible. You need me. Who else would you make voodoo dolls with?

**Morgana:** NIMUEH THAT IS JUST YOU. ONLY YOU DO THAT

**Nimueh:** ...valid point

**Nimueh:** Please don't kill me I have SO MUCH MORE TO LIVE FOR

**Morgana:** Jfc you spend your days in your basement with loads of tarot cards

**Morgana:** THAT IS NOT A LIFE

**Nimueh:** Morgana if there's ONE thing I want you to have learnt from me...it's that you can NEVER have enough tarot cards

**Morgana:** Well thanks for the help Nimueh. Suddenly my mercenary problem has evaporated into the ether as if it never existed

**Morgana:** P.S. I'm disowning you with immediate effect

**Nimueh:** I shall wear a black veil and go into mourning

**Morgana:** Nimueh

**Nimueh:** Morgana

**Morgana:** I hate you

**Nimueh:** HA

**Nimueh:** I should be so lucky ;)

* * *

A raven haired woman cautiously peered around an open doorway. Slowly, slowly, inch by inch. Didn't want to be noticed. Had to get her bearings. Had to gather herself emotionally and physically for the trauma ahead.

A figure seated leisurely in the middle of one of her white leather sofas. Arms outstretched on the back of it. Looking as if she owned the place.

_How very pretentious._

Trying to shake the feeling that she already loathed this newcomer despite knowing little to nothing about her, Morgana crept quietly back into her room to pull on some jeans. Bloody blonde haired criminal breaking into her flat and seeing her half naked. In what sphere of reality had Nimueh been residing in when she thought _this_ was the mercenary for the job?

Morgana wanted a professional. _The best of the best._ Not some vague and mysterious crook who organized to meet her at a set time, only to fail to turn up and then appear later uninvited and _on her bed_.

Christ, _now what was Morgana supposed to do_? How was she supposed to face a stranger who had just had an eyeful of her crotch? How were they supposed to be able to work together?! _Shitting shitbags-_

Morgana scrambled for her phone.

* * *

**Morgana:** I'm freaking out. What do I do?

**Nimueh:** Quit your fashion apprenticeship. Move to a quiet village in Shropshire and fall in love with a sheep

**Morgana:** I WAS REFERRING TO THE MERCENARY IN MY FLAT

**Nimueh:** Well you should have been more specific

**Morgana:** How do I get rid of her?

**Nimueh:** Get rid of her? You've only just met her

**Morgana:** SHE'S SEEN ME ROLL OFF MY BED HALF NAKED. IT WAS HARDLY A FORMAL INTRODUCTION

**Morgana:** I CAN'T WORK WITH HER HOW WOULD I EVEN TALK TO HER IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING

**Nimueh:** ...Look I'm not one to disclose top secret information over mobile phones but if it shuts you up so I can get some sleep then I'm ready and willing

**Morgana: **Nimueh my inbox is FULL of top secret information you've texted me

**Nimueh:** Let's not split hairs angelface

**Morgana:** ...Yeah ok I'm listening

**Nimueh:** Morgause was the mastermind behind the Great Naked Mile. Plot where a bomb with special gas which only dissolved clothing materials was set off in outskirts of Camelot. You know the one?

**Nimueh:** Had a radius of a mile. Everyone was stark naked. Lots of outrage and disruption?

**Morgana:** WAIT WHAT

**Morgana:** SHE WAS THE MASTERMIND BEHIND THE SINGLE MOST POINTLESS TERRORIST ACT THERE HAS EVER BEEN?

**Nimueh:** Yeah that was her. So I really wouldn't worry about her having stared your vag in the eye

**Nimueh:** She's seen it all before and more ;P

**Morgana:** NIMUEH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

**Morgana:** THE MERCENARY YOU CHOSE FOR ME IS AN UNDOUBTED GENIUS WHO DECIDED TO USE ALL OF HER OVERWHELMING INTELLIGENCE TO MAKE EVERYONE IN A MILE RADIUS NAKED?

**Nimueh:** Never tell me I don't get the best for you :)

**Morgana:** SHE WAS JUST THE FIRST ONE YOU FOUND WHO HAPPENED TO BE AVAILABLE WASN'T SHE?!

**Nimueh:** ...I'm sensing tension

**Nimueh:** g2g

**Morgana:** NIMUEH DON'T YOU DARE

**Nimueh:** Speak soon bb girl keep it real xoxoxoxo

**Morgana:** EVERYBODY WHO EVER LOVED YOU WAS WRONG

* * *

She wasn't proud of it, but Morgana had to admit it was taking every ounce of willpower not to scream and hurl her mobile at a wall. _Damn Nimueh to hell!_ She was all flashy smiles and promises but you rarely got what you actually bargained for. This was _just_ like when they were younger and Morgana had given her five pounds for a shiny Pikachu Pokémon card and Nimueh had turned up the next day with a Diglett in hand. _A Diglett._

Morgana's eyes narrowed.

_Revenge would be had-_

"Am I to wait here forever?"

A short, surprised shriek. An undignified moment as Morgana dropped her phone to the wooden floor and promptly let out another scream, although this one was of _pure terror_ for the welfare of the only mobile she'd found that _wasn't_ Pendragon and _didn't_ cost over two hundred pounds. Sounds of Morgana diving to the floor and letting out a sob as she found one half of her flip-phone had gone shooting right under the dark recesses of her wardrobe. _Never to be seen again - !_

"Are you quite well?"

Morgana blinked and slowly looked up to find the blonde standing in the doorway, an expression of faint concern on her face. "I-uh..."

"In the head, I mean."

"Oh." Morgana swallowed hard, tried to gain some form of composure as she lay sprawled out on the floor cradling a broken phone. "Yes, I'm fine thanks. Nothing wrong with me unless you count my shrine to Vivienne Westwood at the back of the wardrobe."

A very long pause.

Morgana herself looked quite lost and unable to fathom what she'd just said and why. Morgause dedicated just a brief second longer to stare at the other woman in barely disguised distaste before offering her reply. "Shall we return to the living area and discuss business?"

The younger woman silently thanked whatever gods there were that Morgause had opted to swiftly ignore her unwanted revelation about her fashion idol and shamefully nodded her head. The blonde turned on her heel and disappeared from view, leaving Morgana to get up from the floor and brush herself down before following.

"You wish your father dead?"

Right. Straight down to business it was. "Yes, and I want his company as well." Morgana paused as they reached the middle of the living area and watched as the newcomer leisurely sat herself down on one of the sofa's again. Watched as she spread her arms across the back of it. Watched as she casually crossed one leg over the other. Watched as she looked for all intents and purposes as if this was _her_ apartment and _not_ Morgana's-

"Please, take a seat." The blonde said, nodding her head in the direction of the sofa opposite.

And Morgana, quite against her better judgement, found herself obediently sitting in the exact spot Morgause had motioned to. Perhaps it was because she was so shocked at this woman's lack of social graces that she didn't really register what she was doing, or maybe it was because she'd just had someone see her fall half-naked out of bed in highly undignified manner and was still recovering from the trauma. Or maybe it was because Morgause had an inexplicably authoritative air about her as if she had spent half her life leading the Italian mafia. Actually, come to think of it, Morgana knew next to nothing about the woman opposite her. Maybe she really _had_ spent half her life in a grand Godfather-esque style, smoking cigars and indifferently leaving the odd horse's head in people's beds before going back home to polish her collection of guns and-

"Were you ever going to expand on your murderous ideas or am I to be assume you wish me to _wing_ the entire operation?"

Morgana's eyes widened as she was ripped rudely away from her imagination, and she glanced to the blonde to witness an expression of mild irritation being sent her way. "O-oh, I...uh..." _Christ_, get it together Morgana! "I need a new will of his to be forged." She replied, a lot more assertively this time around. "So that I inherit everything once he's killed."

"And do you have any plans regarding how to do this?"

"Yes." Morgana said confidently "Hire a mercenary."

The two exchanged stares. Morgana was looking ever hopeful and optimistic in her answer whilst the same could not be said for her guest, who was looking as though she had just witnessed somebody spectacularly trip over, flail for a surface to steady themselves on, only to find none and then crash cataclysmically to the floor. Which she thought, in a sense, was a highly accurate visual representation of what had just blurted its way out of Morgana's mouth. With a sigh, Morgause gave a nod of acknowledgement in the other woman's direction. "Well, I must congratulate you, I suppose-"

"Thank you." Morgana interjected, looking _most_ pleased with herself.

"For being the most underprepared client I have ever had the misfortune to work for." The blonde finished, apparently dead set on ruining what was left of Morgana's dignity after the half-naked incident.

Morgana was not sure whether to be more offended or confused. Perhaps both. Yes, both was good. "But _I'm_ hiring _you_ to do the job _for_ me." She said, hoping that explaining their current situation would do Morgause's brain some good. "Whatever means necessary."

"Whatever means necessary?"

"Yes."

"So I am to be given free rein over this operation?"

"I'd hope so, since you're a professional and I'm barely even amateur." Morgana replied, rather of the mind that this was all very self-explanatory. "That's the whole point of mercenaries, you see."

Morgause shot her a dark look. Apparently jests didn't go down very well with her. Morgana made a mental note to never personally introduce her to Arthur. "I am aware of my own job description, thank you very much. It is hardly _my_ fault that I am usually presented with well thought out plans of action by my clients, yet am now faced with a vengeful _wanna-be_-"

"Excuse me, I am deadly serious about this!" Morgana exclaimed, finding the accusation _highly_ unjust seeing as this woman didn't even _know_ her. "Deadly_, deadly_ serious!"

A slight pause.

A moment for Morgana's particular choice of words to sink in.

A small giggle. "_Deadly_ serious." Morgana repeated, as if she were wittiest person to have ever graced the Earth. "_Deadly_ serious about _deadly_ deeds-"

"I'm done." Morgause interrupted briskly, getting to her feet and gathering her things from the coffee table, the entire sum of which was apparently an apple and a mobile phone with an Angry Birds cover. "Thank you for wasting my time and please feel free to get in touch with me never again."

"I-what-but-"

"Honestly, Nimueh assured me you were of _at least_ average intellect-"

"She assured you of _what_-"

"Yet here you are with _no_ plan whatsoever-"

"_At least_ average - ?!"

"Laughing to yourself at your own inane little jokes-"

"That _sneaky little shit_-"

"I can't help but feel I've gone _down_ in the world-"

"_When I get my hands on her_-"

"Goodbye then." Morgause said, bulldozing over Morgana's own statement of rage with absolutely _no_ sympathy whatsoever "I would wish you luck but everything I have seen from you so far simply _screams_ ineptitude and I should think natural selection will catch up with you shortly." And having indulged in possibly the rudest statement to have ever headed Morgana's way, Morgause headed to the door.

Sadly for the blonde, however, Morgana apparently had other ideas as she dramatically hurled herself in front of the other woman and blocked her route to the door and _freedom_ - "No wait! I'm serious about this!...Really I _am_!" She emphasized as Morgause wrinkled her nose in evident distaste "He's taken everything from me, everything! That business should be _mine!_ I'm his first born, I'm the more intelligent of the two, no matter what _you_ think in all the ten minutes you've known me! But it's always been his precious little fucking son who gets all the acknowledgment! Me? I get nothing! _Nothing_!" Morgana narrowed her eyes, and for just a brief moment looked to Morgause as if she were _every inch_ the accomplished killer "I want him _dead_." The young woman hissed "I want him dead and I want what's rightfully mine."

"Whatever means necessary?"

"Whatever means necessary."

Morgause glanced Morgana over. Took in the hatred in her eyes. The jaw jutted out in defiance. Took in the clenched fists and pursed lips. _Hm_...yes, she might do after all.

Morgause extended a hand. "I do believe you have hired yourself a mercenary, Morgana Pendragon."

And as the other woman took her hand in her own, Morgause couldn't help but smirk.

* * *

It took precisely a half hour to discuss Morgana's wishes in further detail. She wanted a new will to be forged that entrusted all of Uther's wealth, properties and businesses to her whilst Arthur would be given exactly one chocolate chip cookie - "Like, I don't want him to get so depressed he kills himself or anything" had been Morgana's precise words. Morgause was also free to kill Uther in any manner she wished, so long as she got the job done in a manner that _absolutely did not under any circumstances_ lead back to Morgana. There had to be _subtly_ to it. Then, once Morgause had completed these tasks and Morgana was sitting happily behind the desk in what used to be Uther's office, she was to be given fifty thousand pounds - which was no trouble for Morgana who would be leading a multi-billion business. _Wonderful_. And it all sounded so _simple_ too.

That was, until Morgause spoke up. "So I trust I shall be lodging here until my contract is fulfilled?"

"...Lodging?" Morgana echoed, face immediately paling.

"Yes, I'll need somewhere to stay over the duration."

"_Duration_? But I want this done as quickly-"

"Not possible." Morgause interrupted matter-of-factly "I need to engage in serious reconnaissance and investigation into the Pendragon Limited business, not to mention Uther Pendragon himself."

"But...I...I only have one room-"

"I will accept this offer."

If Morgana had looked uncomfortable before, she now looked as though she had just seen her father fly past the window stark naked. "No, _no_," She hurriedly amended, "I wasn't _offering_-"

"You may enjoy the comfort of your gracious sofa as I settle in." Morgause said gracefully, as if she were quite unaware of the turmoil the other woman was going through. She motioned to the mentioned piece of furniture and then started towards the bedroom.

"But-" Morgana tried.

"You may have a pillow if you so desire one." Morgause offered generously, reaching the doorway. "And as your guest, I also expect food to be provided for me."

Morgana could only manage a sort of shocked high-pitched squeaking noise at the unfairness of it all, which was met with absolutely _no_ sympathy _whatsoever_, and watched with growing despair as the blonde promptly entered her bedroom and closed the door. A few minutes drifted by as Morgana attempted to take in what had just happened. She was, however, left feeling entirely helpless when all she could eventually muster out to herself as she sank into the sofa was a bewildered whisper of "_But she isn't even a guest_, I'm _paying_ her to be here!"

* * *

**Morgana**: She's moved in with me

**Nimueh: **That was fast. I presume I'll be maid of honour at the wedding?

**Morgana**: No not like that you dolt. She said she'd lodge here until her contract was fulfilled

**Morgana**: You wouldn't be maid of honour anyway, Gwen would be. She doesn't scare people

**Nimueh**: Harsh but understandable

**Morgana**: Anyway the main point is I can't have her living with me

**Morgana**: You need to help me find her someplace else to stay

**Nimueh**: No Morgana she can't live with me

**Morgana**: Oh, go on

**Nimueh**: No

**Nimueh**: I only just got the feng shui of the place right. Can't have people moving things about

**Morgana**: She's barely got anything to move. She's got like...an apple and a phone and that's it

**Nimueh**: What kind of apple?

**Morgana**: What do you meant what kind of apple?!

**Nimueh**: What colour is it?

**Morgana**: ...Red?

**Nimueh**: No that's no good

**Nimueh**: Bad luck

**Morgana**: How are red apples bad luck?!

**Nimueh**: Have you ever read any fairytales? They're nearly always poisoned

**Morgana**: ...Nimueh has anyone ever told you you're really weird?

**Nimueh**: Oh, I'd hope so

**Morgana**: So you're not going to help me out?

**Nimueh**: Absolutely not

**Nimueh**: What are friends for? :)

**Morgana**: Great, thanks

**Morgana**: ...She told me you told her I have 'at least average intellect' btw

**Nimueh**: Ah, how unfortunate

**Nimueh**: My battery appears to be dying

**Morgana**: Nimueh

**Nimueh**: Ttyl

**Morgana**: You always do this!

**Nimueh**: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER xoxoxoxo

**Morgana**: WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE

* * *

"I'd be Hufflepuff. Definitely."

"Yeah, I can see that. Loyal and hard-working."

"I was thinking more that I just really love the colour yellow."

"Well, yeah. You've got the wardrobe for it, that's for sure."

"And it's near the kitchens."

"An infinite source of midnight snacks."

"You know, this is why I like you, Merlin." Gwen said, leaning against the counter. "We're on _exactly_ the same wavelength."

The dark-haired man grinned as he started taking his sandwich out of its packaging. Spending his lunch break in Gwen's flower shop never failed to put him in a good mood. "I've always thought of myself as a bit of Ravenclaw."

Gwen eyed him suspiciously. "Hmm."

"What do you mean _'Hmm'_?"

"I took you as more of a Slytherin, to be honest."

"Slytherin?!" Merlin exclaimed indignantly "I'm not _evil_-"

"But you like lizards and snakes a lot."

"That doesn't-"

"And you talk to Kilgharrah." Gwen said solemnly, as if she was imparting a harsh but important truth "You talk to your pet lizard. It's practically parseltongue"

"...He gets lonely otherwise." Merlin replied sulkily, glancing down at his sandwich in a much less enthused manner.

Gwen smiled and leant over the counter, prodding him affectionately in the shoulder. "Chin up, Merls, it could be worse. At least you're not a psychopathic Death Eater."

It was at this point in the conversation that the door to the shop was violently flung open and Morgana stormed in, her dark hair a wild mess and red splattered all over her clothes. "THAT'S IT, _I'VE HAD IT._ I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. _IF ONE MORE THING_ GOES WRONG TODAY I'M GOING TO _KILL_ SOMEONE".

Gwen and Merlin exchanged glances.

"Unlike someone else around here..." The florist murmured under her breath.

Thankfully out of ear shot, Morgana irritably threw her bag on the floor, cursing to herself as she did so, then stalked forwards and grabbed the sandwich out of Merlin's hand that was en route to his open mouth. "_HEY_-"

Morgana, however, was apparently in _no mood_ to negotiate on the matter as she took a large bite and began to chew.

And then promptly spat it out everywhere, with a rather surprising amount of force, much to everyone else's disgust.

"_WHY WOULD YOU_-"

"MORGANA _NOT IN MY SHOP_-"

"_JESUS_, _MERLIN_." Morgana roared furiously over the top of the both of them "_WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!_"

"Prawn and mayonnaise?!" The young man replied bewilderedly, flinching slightly as Morgana threw the sandwich down on the floor in disgust.

"PRAWNS _NEVER_ BELONG IN SANDWICHES, MERLIN, WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU-"

"_MORGANA PENDRAGON_!" Gwen shouted, in ominous contrast to her typical soft tone of voice. "YOU WILL PICK UP THAT SANDWICH OR SO HELP ME GOD YOU _WILL MEET YOUR END_."

A few seconds went by in complete, terrified silence as both Morgana and Merlin stared wide eyed at the usually calm and collected florist, who was pointing a finger accusingly at the sandwich on her floor. Slowly and very cautiously, like an animal afraid it was about to be pounced on, Morgana bent down and retrieved the offensive item from the tiled floor, steadily straightening back up again to stand meekly before her angered friend.

Still silence.

Clearly unsure of what else she was supposed to do, Morgana glanced down to the sandwich, back up to Gwen, and back down to the sandwich again, before timidly extending her hand and offering it to the florist.

"No, _put it in the bin_." Gwen ordered, in a hushed tone that still remarkably held as much authority in it as when she raised her voice.

As Morgana scuttled to the bin at the other side of the counter, looking for all intents and purposes like a scolded child, Merlin raised his brows. "Are you _sure_ you're a Hufflepuff, Gwen?"

"Yes." The young woman replied assertively, adjusting a few strands of hair that had escaped from her messy bun "Hufflepuffs get shit done."

Merlin nodded in acknowledgment as he mulled this thought over and Morgana sidled back over to stand by his side and offer Gwen an apologetic look. "Sorry."

"So you should be. There's bits of your spit and prawn everywhere."

"I think Morgana should clean it all up." Merlin suggested helpfully, letting out a surprised yelp as the oldest Pendragon elbowed him hard in the side.

"Morgana hasn't got time, she's got to get back to her flat and try to get rid of her squatter." Morgana said tetchily. "And she also has to try and get all of this red paint out of her clothes."

Gwen glanced the other woman over. "...Why _have_ you got red paint all over you?"

"Oh, so you're interested in the paint but not in the squatter?"

"I thought Nimueh was your squatter."

"No, she doesn't squat she just...exists as part of the apartment sometimes. Like the furnishings."

"Ah."

Morgana looked down at her ruined shirt and let out a frustrated sigh. "_This_ happened because only complete _klutzes_ turned up to my fashion shoot, thinking it was some ridiculous art class or something. And they all started throwing paint at the white screen which cost me like a hundred pounds and I tried to dive in front and save it but they thought it was part of 'contemporary art' and carried on and..." Morgana trailed off, looking very sorry for herself indeed.

In contrast, Merlin, having retrieved the last sandwich in the packaging, let out a pleasantly surprised "_Mmmm_!" as he chewed through his lunch. The two women glanced to him incredulously as he waved the sandwich about happily. "Good. Very good." He declared through mouthfuls. "Highly recommend."

Morgana let out groan of disbelief and decided to turn her attention to Gwen instead. Gwen was nice (most of the time). Gwen would give her sympathy. Gwen would know how to get the paint out. Gwen would help.

"There's no way you're going to be able to get those stains out." Gwen said unhelpfully. "Those clothes are ruined."

Morgana regarded her friend with an annoyed stare.

Gwen stared back.

They both stared at each other.

"Is there any chance my squatter can squat in your flat instead?" Morgana asked through clenched teeth.

"Goodness, no." Gwen replied with infinite grace and good manners.

"I see."

"Mm-hm."

"Then I will be leaving."

"Thank you for popping in."

"It's always a pleasure." Morgana said, turning on her heel to pick up her bag. She glanced over to Merlin as she reached the door, watching as he took another big bite out of his sandwich, looking almost _impossibly_ pleased with himself. "I hope you choke on one of the prawns." She declared good-naturedly, making sure he didn't have time to reply as she hurriedly darted out of the door and down the street.

Morgana had always _relished_ in having the last word.

* * *

_Authors Notes: Because Gwen used to be QUEEN in another life and she'll be damned if she's going to take crap from anyone! Badass Gwen all the way like AWW YEAAH! Also can I hear some Hufflepuff pride? YES I CAN._

_...Forever sad that I didn't get sorted into it in Pottermore :(_

_ANYWAY, I digress, I digress! I hope to the very core of my spleen that you enjoyed this chapter! There'll be more of Morgause actually attempting to murder Uther in ridiculously elaborate ways in the upcoming chapters :) More characters too. MORE OF EVERYTHING. ALL THE THINGS!_

_Please love me and send me reviews._

_They make me fuzzy inside._

_LOVE YOU, YOU LOT OF BEAUTY CATS_

_TheDeathlyMarshmallows_

_x_


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